my insomnia is coming back.. for days i havent been able to sleep.. onli managed to sleep like 3 hrs.. ytd couldnt take it anymore n took the sleeping pill.. only it wasnt called sleeping pills, it's called "sedative"..
i like to think that i have a good life.. i have a healthy family, parents not divorced or ill like some families.. my r/s with my sis is veri good unlike some siblings who always fight.. i have a bf who cares a lot for me, i have a stable job and earning quite alright considering i only have degree.. everything in my life seems to be going well and good.
but i cant handle work stress.. i dont know if the amt of work and stress is realli considered high, or am i just being weak? who can define how much a person can be stretched? i feel so stifled under all the stress.. at nite my heart beats fast and nervously.. i couldnt settle down at all.. cant put my mind at ease..
all nite long all i could think of are these:
will i fail to meet the expectations? if i wan to quit, will it affect my future career in other ministries? if i dun quit, how shd i survive? if i quit, will i be able to find a job? if i quit, will i be seen as a useless person? if i stay, will my insomnia get worse and worse? i dun wan to be under so much stress but i dun wan to quit the job. talk to my boss abt this? tried but he keeps adding on to the stress. i am so tired.. physically and mentally.. can i still go on? can i take a break? do i deserve a break? wad if i spend all my money? i like working near to my home. i like seeing the children. but i dun like the work nature. but then again, i can still take it, cant i? or, i cant? wad do i wan? i wan to quit, but i wan to stay. quit stay quit stay quit stay quit stay quit stay
anyway, right now i juz feel like such a useless person who cant take stress. a lot of ppl had to work under huge stress, and they still cope. why cant i?
一双闪着泪光的眼睛
要多努力才能把雨看成星星 yes pls tell me how much harder i need to try..
握住我手 但别给我同情
执着的人要从倔强 寻找勇气好像很近 瞬间又远离
很难实现才叫梦想 才要决心 - my exact feelings now..
我们终于一起 来到这里 - cuz havent reached our goal yet..
当我激动不能言语 把我抱紧我们隔着 一颗心的距离
有笑有哭地去回忆
夏天秋天 纯真蜕变的电影
会是一辈子做不腻的事情
静静隔着 一颗心的距离
交换最真实的情绪
庆幸 太不勇敢的纪念日里你曾经 给我多重要的鼓励 - really thankful for having someone who catches me as i fall.. 我想说 没有你的生命
像没有歌词的旋律
就算可以 很美很好听
也少了意义少了确定一双闪着泪光的眼睛 要多努力才能把雨看成星星 ...
