weird feelings.

these few days i've been cramming pictorial memories of the places i've been to n ppl i've met up with into my brain for a storage of memories I can tap on if i get homesick in aussie. ok mabe my camera did a better job den me la.. arghhh wad is this strange feeling of dread and sunkeness in the pit of my tummy? (no dun think i'm hungry) T_T

everyone's so envious of wad i am abt to do.. quitting my horrendous job n running off to a far away land, nv having to drag my unwilling self to the office every morning anymore.. but wad i realised is dat dragging myself to work has become some sort of solid ground in my life. after i stopped doing it, i felt realli great for a while but now, i'm juz wondering "wad else can i do?"

there are like, millions of things i wanna do.. tons of possibilities out there.. but will i find them? will i be able to catch hold of them?

okok enough wallowing in self-pity. i shd count my blessings. literally.

Count-my-blessings list
1. great sisters =)
2. family
3. i'm married (still hard to believe haha)
4. get to live overseas for a yr
5. am not born in africa

regarding this no. 5, the thought of adopting a child from places like africa and mongolia has crossed my mind more than once. when we r more financially stable, i'm so gonna do it! anyone interested to do it wif me? read online that u onli need to pay $50 or $60 each month and u can pay for a child's daily needs like food, clothing, medicine and education! any extra will go to helping the whole village too! but is it true?

6. i can wear my sis's winter cloaks so i dun need to buy any
7. i'm healthy (this obviously has to be at the top of the list but didnt think of it juz now haha)
8. all my loved ones r healthy too (replacing no. 7 to be top of the list)
9. i found a place which sells O.P.I at $30 for 2 bottles
10. i'm still young!

ok i feel better aleadi :D

1st week of my freedom has passed in a flurry.. busy busy busy.. mon went to NUS with cm to buy laptop from the IT coop, then went to fren's place to play mj and Wii overnite. me n cm even went to buy extra nanchucks and remotes as some r a bit spoilt and we oso wanted to make it complete. =)
tues after sleeping in late, went out to meet ex-am frens for dinner at vivocity.. haha.. realli nice to talk to them =)
wed went back to work.. after dat think we went home to play maple. haha.. n went gym too..!!
thurs went back to work again for a while.. den went shopping at orchard. meet up with zy n sl for dinner at northpoint..
fri was super run errand day.. went to sch pick up cm's transcript.. down to idp.. den went to sembawang to meet his fren and went to nus tog again to collect laptop (cuz using his fren's name..).. after collect laptop, went to look for winter clothes again.. sigh sian.

today morning went to listen to pre-departure briefing.. den went to meet my sis, sy n jer at tampines..w ent to safra tampines' minds cafe... v fun!! will post photos in fb =) realli glad to meet up with them.. they are my family~~ my sisters~~ after playing went to tampines to walk walk eat dinner.. v tired cuz prev nite couldnt sleep till ard 5am.. =S

it's for real.. we r leaving in 3 weeks.. i cant describe my feelings now.. a total mess of excitement and apprehensiveness.. cant wait to go on this adventure but at the same time v scared of wad is gg to take place. haf been getting serious butterflies in my tummy recently juz by thinking abt it.. Argh!!! i gotta relax n take it easy... *breathes deeply*

i am feeling 3 different feelings now. all sort of related but not so related. haha..

1. Happy!! Freedom!! My last day at work was ytd. well on paper last day.. on leave for the next 2 weeks.. but still will be going back once or twice a week to see see.. cuz no replacement yet.. but still, it's over =) but then, feel kind of dejected as well.. altho work sucks, i do feel part of the family there.. so quite sad to leave too.. but no worries i will look forward! =D

2. EXCITED!!! looking at jackets n winter clothings etc etc.. preparing for the trip! am so happy n excited!! but at the same time.. a bit worried.. hopefully everything will be ok..

3. feeling old now.. was on FB looking at ppl's photos... saw fk's sg flyer photos.. young n sweet love! actualli i dunno if they r an item but look so sweet surely is a couple liao rite? haha.. reminded me of our beginning.. oso sweet sweet one.. now older aleadi.. even gotten ROMed..
kind of miss the "honeymoon" period, the "birds are singing and flowers are waving at u and the whole world seem to sparkle" dat kind of mood. HAHAHA i'm not exaggerating hor! it is realli lidat when u've just fallen in love! lolz..
research says that falling in love causes ur body to release endorphins on a all-time high. so ur body is like high on drugs lidat. dats why feel so high. smthg lidat. ^^ i could use a little of that once in a while!

of cuz now i am feeling very blessed and happy too.. but.. i feel old... TT____TT altho yes la i am still young but the feeling of youngness is different!

last time we were like this:

So Young by The Corrs

We are taking it easy
Bright and breezy
We are living it up
Just fine and dandy

We are chasing the moon
Just running wild and free
We are following through
Every dream, and every need

And it really doesn't matter that we don't eat
And it really doesn't matter that we don't sleep
It really doesn't matter, it really doesn't matter at all (realli honestly it didnt matter last time.. now if i dun eat dun sleep i think i will just shrivel and dry up. -__-)

'Cause we were so young now
We are so young, so young now
And when tomorrow comes
We'll just do it all again

We are caught in a haze
On these lazy summer days
We're spending all of our nights just
A-laughing and kissing, yeah

No it really doesn't matter if we don't sleep
No it really doesn't matter if we don't sleep
It really doesn't matter at all

now, my song is:

The Young Ones

The young ones,
Darling were the young ones,
And young ones shouldnt be afraid.

To live, love
While the flame is strong,
For we wouldn't be the young ones very long. T__T my thoughts exactly.

Tomorrow,
Why wait till tomorrow,
Tomorrow sometimes never comes.
Love, me,
Theres a song to be sung
And the best time is to sing while were young.

T__T

i bot me a new cammie!! fujifilm f200 exr.. supposed to be realli cool according to cm.. -_- but i am not too sure... hahaha.. and i bot a pouch to put my cammie in... i think i like the pouch better... sigh there were other nicer ones.. but all too small for this cammie.. this cammie is huge!! =( ok its not so huge but quite big compared to the other compact cammies...

gosh i am spending so much money.. but i am very happy!! haha.. shopping makes ppl happy... :)

i'm bored at work.. and not bcuz i have nothing to do.. i have tons n tons of things to do/reports to write! but i am juz fed up and sick dat I feel bored. u know wad i mean... juz very very SIAN...

sigh i realli am glad dat i am leaving this job.. it is nice to work here.. and i will realli miss all my staff here.. but i realli dun like the jobscope.. well i guess u can say that all jobs are the same.. it's juz a job.. how exciting do u wan it to be.. better have a secure job and be bored than be free and have no income at all.. blah blah... but i think if u keep on holding to smthg juz bcuz u r familiar with it, then u will nv know wads out there for u! of cuz if u are perfectly happy with wad u have, then u r very lucky! i realli realli do hope that one day i will find a job dat makes me happy, not juz for the money alone.

but happiness is relative.. and job satisfaction is also relative.. some ppl are happy with a clerical job. i guess if the job is ok, the ppl are friendly and the boss not too bad.. i can be pretty happy in a position like dat too. some ppl prefer jobs that are exciting.. more outdoors.. more sporty.. etc etc etc.. i guess it would be realli fun to have a job lidat too.. actualli finding a job is like finding a bf! some ppl juz Bang! and found the Best Job In the World, some ppl are careful and test try a few times before deciding on which to settle down with.. some ppl keep on changing and changing jobs.. nv settling down in a job for more than 1 yr.. haha...

ok i am realli mad to write so much abt work n jobs when i am supposed to do the appraisal reports!!! OMG 5 of them to write!!!

LL STOP SLACKING N START WRITING!!!