i guess everyone has to grow up..

and i'm not sure if i want 2009 to arrive so quickly.. it's gg to be a year full of major changes..

1. my sis gg to hk for half a yr starting jan for her exchange

2. one mth after she comes back, i'm probably leaving for aussie myself - meaning i only get to see her for 1 mth b4 leaving.. not that she's not coming back or anything.. but still..

3. got to try to adapt to new country n find a job

4. no longer can i go home n be taken care of by parents..


i realised that i have been so excited by the idea of getting out of SG n living somewhere else for a change that i've forgotten that i have to leave behind my home, my parents and sis for quite a while.. it makes me sad to even think of leaving them.. i will miss them.. even tho we always quarrel, family is family. i guess all children have to grow up and find their own homes eventually, but living in another country is totally on a different scale! n when i come back, will things be different? since i would be married to cm, will i still have the chance to stay with my family? suddenly i am not ready to leave my home yet.. the future is unknown n scary.. I'm not ready to grow up yet!

part of me wants to grow up n be responsible for my future. part of me just wants to go back being a child and curl up in my bed..

but as cm says, everyone has to look forward.. and as i have experienced again and again, time that has passed will nv come back. every second that i am using to type out this entry will nv come back to me. instead of living in the shadow of the familiar past, i have to try to go forward with anticipation.

yea i guess after 2009, my life will nv be the same again. but i'm sure it will be fun n exciting! i guess i'm juz worrying too much, again.. =)