@_@

u'll nv believe wad happened. I'll nv complain abt Monday blues again (for as long as i can last..). If I had slept in a bit later today, i would probably be having a broken leg and arm right now. My home has a lot of the ceiling structures the older generation called the "Corning" which i think is short for "cornering".. well.. one wall-length of it fell off onto my bed!! lucky both me n my sis were up n not in the room. so scary!!

the identical corning in my sis's room:

what it looks like in my room:

feeling very scared, i had cm remove all the rest of the corning in my room as well..
he almost had one piece fell onto his feet.. luckily it missed his feet by an inch or so... my heart almost stopped. if it really crashed onto his feet, i'll be the biggest criminal on earth for getting my bf hurt.. juz b4 his exams somemore.. for a moment i was so shocked i couldnt move.. and he juz continue to remove the rest like nthg happened.. -_- really cant imagine wad could haf happened..

so thankful that nobody is hurt! T_T

wad happened in the past 2 weeks? piles n piles of work.. and EV... had 4 interviews n i hope i did not let my sch down by saying stupid things.. sigh. realli stressful.. but it's finally over, n now it's cm's n my sis's turn to be stressed cuz it's exams!!

sigh feeling quite emo recently.. mabe cuz more stress n tired.. so i haf to start counting my blessings again to remind myself that i am lucky in some ways too.

My Work
1. my job teaches me a lot
2. i haf some nice colleagues that i can talk with
3. the sch is within walking distance
4. i am earning money n can contribute to family
5. i sent emails for job applications n i got replies for interviews, even tho in the end i find them to be unsuitable. this shows that i still haf value!

People ard me
1. my family members n frens are all healthy
2. i have a warm home to return to everyday after shitty work
3. i haf the best bf in the world <3 who tries his best to cheer me up whenever i'm down no matter how tired or busy he is..
4. best of all, i'm loved by them all =)

but i cant help but feel down.. not juz cuz of work.. but bcuz my future seems so blurry.. unknown to me n i'm afraid.. when will everything start to become clearer?


uggh.. i shd juz sleep it away..

i was nominated together with other colleagues to go for N95 respirator training at E Sec Sch. at 1st i was quite sianz cuz it would take up so much of my time.. and i still wanted to take half day tml! i really could use the time to finish up some work 1st.. but anyway, it turned out quite fun.. we were taught how to wear the mask properly (which turned out to be a new mask from 3M, not N95 le..)

ta da~ me and my eas team~
BUT!!! i didn't know we were going to simulate a real senario.. they told us that they are going to spray some bitter chemicals into the air, and if we had worn the masks correctly, we should be quite safe... n i started regretting that i hadn't paid attention just now, and i did not mold the shape of the mask carefully.. cuz there's a wire strip to hold it in place on our noses.. T_T we tasted a bit of the chemical through breathing.. really veri bitter lo.. y they put us into gas chamber?!?

me looking very uncertain abt this.. and with the head hood, which they were going to spray the chemical into... but scared oso muz take photo.. i even strike a pose!
ahh.. here it comes... the uncle was furiously spraying the thing into the hood.. like at least 50 times.. i was so afraid to breathe.. he still ask me to breathe deeply with mouth!
luckily, i did manage to wear the mask properly. i didn't smell anything at all! i guess it's quite fun to learn this, but during a real emergency.. i think i will forget everything... haha..

so it's 5.24pm.. i'm sitting alone in the office i normally share with the OM. Almost everyone has left.. it's so quiet now that i feel kind of peaceful.

life is quite amazing, really. I think about this morning, when I was still complaining that it's only the start of a long week, and now it's about the end of a day. Last year I was anticipating my dec hols and now I have all the photos neatly in an album. When I think about how I felt before an event, how I felt during the event, and how I felt after the event, life seems almost miraculous. But I am quite impatient. I always can't wait for the event to:
a) happen faster
b) be over faster

i hate waiting... some ppl think that process is more important than results. But as I am so impatient, I don't often enjoy the process, i tend to look forward to results, if results equal rewards, dat is... but wad happens after the results? i dunno... start another process/journey and start hating it all over again? I hate myself sometimes for being the way I am. bcuz the way that I think makes my life miserable. If i am able to change my way of thinking, my attitude towards life and work and everything else..

i want to be strong and optimistic! but sometimes, i am really nothing more than an average soft-spoken, silly girl who only wants simple happiness.

this is really a senseless post. i dun blame u for wanting to knock my brains out of my head!